


The Kindergarten Commoditization

by seren_mercury



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 16:51:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7582135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seren_mercury/pseuds/seren_mercury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's evolution, so it only makes sense that she would be an improvement upon her parents. Of course this would also imply Leonard had done something right. So the hypothesis needs work. Sheldon and Leonard's daughter</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kindergarten Commoditization

**Title:** The Kindergarten Commoditization 

She's eating ice cream. They enjoy ice cream. She's eating vanilla and chocolate with rainbow sprinkles, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. They've discussed his incomprehension of the rainbow sprinkles over chocolate if she is just going to use the syrup. Her reply of, "But then it wouldn't be as pretty," is sufficient.

He decides he's disinterested in continuing the line of inquiry and moves on to another topic. Her presence in the apartment. "Your father wasn't specific, though I shouldn't be surprised, clarity has never been his strong suit. I believe that very flaw is the real reason you're here. In the biological sense obviously, not the current situational understanding."

She continues to swing her feet on the bar stool as she spoons another mouthful of frozen dairy. He counts her ability to join him in this culinary treat as an indicator of the power of evolution. "My teacher wants to talk to Mommy and Daddy about my 'precocious' and 'disruptive' behavior." She answers finally with a detachment he finds delightful given her progenitors.

"I assume she used that phrasing exactly to characterize your conduct in class." Sheldon stated, folding his napkin perfectly in half after he wiped his mouth.

"Yup." She replied, taking another bite. "She wrote a letter and pinned it to my backpack. She said it was so I wouldn't forget to tell Mommy and Daddy." Her face took on a contemplative expression for a moment. "I don't know why I'd forget. It's not very far from my classroom to Daddy's car. I think maybe she forgets lots of things and thinks everyone does too." She scooped more ice cream. "She's wrong though."

Sheldon nodded. "Given the current state of the public education system in the United States, as well as my own limited experience, I'd say that's a fair hypothesis. I wouldn't be surprised if you discovered this woman is often wrong."

"Yeah, that's what Daddy said to Mommy in the car. Not all of that, mostly the wrong thing. He said Miss Arslainian doesn't know what she's talking about and that just because I'm smarter than her and everyone else in school doesn't mean she should try and get me in trouble." She sipped on her apple juice. "Mommy told him that saying things like that was why I was getting notes pinned to my backpack. And then she said that it was his fault I knew I was smarter than Miss Arslainian and that I told her so last Friday when she wouldn't let me fix the math cartoons on the bulletin board."

"Well it would seem your mother and this Miss Arslainian woman have a limited grasp outside the obvious."

"Daddy said that too, now he has to sleep in my brother's room."

"So you're here so they can attend to this woman's complaints upon your behavior in class."

"Yup."

"Well, I suppose the complete lack of necessity to pay any consequence to this simpleton's remarks didn't dawn on your parents?"

"Mommy said that, but Daddy wants to make sure that woman understands where he's coming from. I told him that we already did that the first day of school. She knows we're from Pasadena."

Sheldon nodded in agreement. "Your father has also always had a penchant for stating the apparent. I've warned him about it before." Sheldon added more whipped cream to his bowl, then to hers. "But in this instance he was probably speaking figuratively."

"Well now Mommy wants me to promise not to tell Miss Arslainian when she's wrong." She sighed heavily. "But I don't understand why, if I were wrong so much I'd want someone to tell me."

"Though I can't remember it ever occurring, I'd have to agree."

"I think it should be her fault for being wrong all the time. How can I be wrong if I'm right?"

"You can't, but logic is yet another thing that has often alluded your mother."

"Well Mommy said I have to say I'm sorry to Miss Arslainian and I told her I don't want to if I don't know why because Mommy always says not to say things I don't mean and how can I be sorry if I don't why I'm supposed to be sorry?"

"And what did your mother say when you raised a fair point?"

She sighed heavily and frowned into her bowl. "That it was a 'nonnegotiable social convention'." The little girl fumbled a bit in her repetition of what was to him a well-worn phrase, but not much.

Sheldon shook his head in sympathy, "Damn those bizarre, antiquated, absurd rituals. I don't understand how society hasn't moved past them." He mused for a moment. "Not everyone is as evolved as we are."

"Regular people stink." The child agreed woefully.

"Yes they do." He concurred.

She hopped down from the stool. "I'm going to go color now."

"I'm going to solve the rest of the quantum entanglement problem I've been having." He replied.

She paused in her descent for a moment then shrugged, "Okay Uncle Sheldon."

He finished his last spoonful of ice cream and cleared their bowls. Sheldon watched her empty her backpack onto the coffee table and found himself once again pondering her existence. He had spent a lot of time trying to decipher just how Leonard and his…contributor had been capable of combining their respective DNA and producing someone that was far superior to both.

In the end he decided it must be a testament to recessive genes, as neither of her brothers were half as interesting or astute. It's all evolution; it only made sense that she would be an improvement upon her parents. Of course this would also imply Leonard had done something right. So the hypothesis needs work.


End file.
